lil_rebbitzen: (yipee)
I GOT INTO COLLLLEEEEGE
I'm starting the 23rd!
So far, I'm registered for Biology I, College Study Skills, Composition and Rhetoric, Introductory Psychology, & Introduction to Microcomputers. So, basic stuff, but just want to get started right now. My declared Major is Nursing, but I'm just working to work my pre-reqs first. I may end up dual-enrolling at the nearby Georgia Gwinnett later, since they have Pre-Nursing...

So we'll see.

But that's a huge burden off my shoulders. I feel rather relieved knowing I'll be around people and out of the house like 3 days a week.
It'll help with my depression, in any event.

Hm...can't think of anything else right now. :| RLwise anyway.

RPwise, it's been weird. But I think I'm heading the right direction now. Giovanni, you are suuuuch a jerk. It's fun playing someone opposite me. He's starting to learn what he needs to work on... BD and complaining at me so hard.
As always, check the journal to see what's going on.

Okay, I'm off. I'll post more later. <3

Luvluv

lil_rebbitzen: (yipee)

I currently have SoulSilver in my DS...it's SHINY.

Also, I barely got a figurine. Apparently Nintendo didn't send out enough for the preorders (O_o), and they had run out. Originally, the girl said "Um, we're out of Lugias... would you like 2 Ho-ohs?"
My heart dropped.
Me: No lugia?
Girl: No, sorry...*talks to associate* Oh, we're out of Ho-ohs too...
Me: o_o *looks like you just kicked her puppy*
Girl: Hm... *to associate: Hey, can she have these ones on the monitors? Okay* Alright, here ya go! ^.^
Me: ^_^ Thank you so much!

So Gamestop in Loganville, GA wins major points, IMO.
Nintendo distribution center, however, loses points for not being smart enough to ship out enough.

Going to go by later this week and see if they still need those posters and big boxes...  :-)

I should have a package coming in from [livejournal.com profile] japax  early this week, so I'll do a collection post on [livejournal.com profile] pkmncollectors soon.

Oh, and this is the first DS Gen games I've bought ever...
I have so much to learn...
lil_rebbitzen: (Default)


So I was reading today's (yesterday's?) Dominic-Deegan strip, and they just flat out told Luna (a chracter I've identified with) that she will never have a child.

So my good mood just jumped out the window and died on the sidewalk.

See, I have something called PCOS (PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome) which kind of messes with my hormones and such. One thing I recently found out was that some people with it have trouble getting/can't get pregnant...
Now, forget for the moment that that may only be the version that actually produces cysts on the ovaries, and that we don't think I have that...
What if all the types can have that problem?

For a few years (my teen years), I didn't think I wanted children. As I've grown up and gotten more mature, I've realized that I really do want to have kids. Not right now, obviously, but when I get married.
Whenever this fear's come up before, I've just shoved it to the side. But now that a character I've identified with for years (we've both been suicidally depressed, disliked our bodies, and been very insecure), and watched go through MY struggles and come out okay and better...
Tto hear that she will never have children...
It may sound silly, but it was almost like hearing those words about myself.

I suppose this is why I write a character with a large family...
Subcounciously, I want one.

I want to hold a precious child in my arms, want to watch them grow, want to take them to school and nuture them and protect them..
I want to see that beautiful child run up to me, hug me, and hear them say, "Mommy, I love you."

And I'm so scared I will never get that chance.

I'm sorry, I can't write anymore tonight, I...I'm just too depressed right now...
 *curls into ball and cries and prays* 

 
 


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